Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in where_ismy_mind's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 9th, 2004
7:21 pm	As put so eloquently a few days ago by Brandon, "You need love." Yes, yes I do.... SO! Heres my bitchin p'orangeofagoal, I need a: nonasshole nonmanwhore nonexgirfriendobssessed promonogamy intelligent literate!!!!!!!!!! (<--- this one is key!) dominating (hey! I have needs...) the one above makes me laugh, but, back to the list, extremelyextremelyweirdandveryveryopensothatidontscarethemaway pixies loving (<--- this one too is key) musicobssessed nottoocrazysocialthattheyreanassholetomebecauseimnotanattentionwhoreeverysecondaroundpeopleidontevenfuckingknow(nothatimbitterovertakingshitforthat...) and, just not too too crazy social in general (yay for being socially awkward!) XhXcXweirdass sweet nicetome boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GOING TO FIND ANYONE! WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This weeks been boring, EVERYONE TO THE OTHER JESSICAS HOUSE THIS WEEKEND! Shes making food for people, its going to be supercool, because, FREE FOOD! and, MY CLONE! COME! Hmm, I wanna do something interesting this weekend, because, this week has been quite uninteresting. I miss Rebecca, :: is sad:: EMO CAMERON IS AN EVIL EVIL WHORE! That I love. mostly... The cd I burned for Brandon is officially the perfect mix cd, and you all must worship it. thars it, nothing really, I LOVE THE PIXIES! AND ALASTAIR! AND ORGASMIC FRANK BLACK! YES! "... and if i could be, who you wanted, if i could be, who you wanted, all the time, all the time..." - "...everything inside is made of stone..." Current Mood: "it wears her out...." Current Music: brizzandon'semoliciousmizzixtothemizzax(theperfectcd!!!!) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
9:47 pm	" Oh my baby, baby, I love you more then I can tell, I, don't think I can live, without you, and I know that I never will, Oh my baby, baby, I want you so it scares me to death, I can't say anymore that I love you, everything else, is waste, of breath...." So, yeah, so so so so so so so so so so much to write, summary time. Rocky was the SHHHHHHEEEEEE-AAAATTTTTTT!!!!!! LEAH AND REBECCA AND CAITLIN AND KYLE AND KATI AND LEAH'S FRIENDS!!!!! It was like, the perfect group of people, it was crazy awesome, even though Brandon And Alastair's emoasses didn't come!!!! I was so messed up on the RedBull Leah gave me! I LOVE YOOUUUU LEAHH!!! I was like, threeyearold mode, ROCKY HORROR! AND PEOPLE I LOVE! AND MY WIFE KATI! OHMYGOD! HELL YES! SOOOOO, SOOO HYPERRRRRR!!!!! Saturday my parents were pissed so I stayed home, Sunday Dragoncon with Alix and Nyssa, both of whom I love, their LOTR obssessions make me laugh, even though, considering me at Rocky, I have no right to. SUnDAY NIGHT! CAITLIN! AND PIZZA! We stayed up all night iming people and watching SEALAB 2021! THE GREATEST SHOW! EVER! So fun! that weird spastic entry with alastair in it is a better summary of that night, SOOO FUNNN!!! Monday, nothing, Tuesday, Power went out! WOOO! Today, Kati gave me a ride to Latin Club so I actually made it on time which was crazy cool, since, I somehow ended up as the treasurer. Poetry Club this afternoon, IIII LLLOOOOVVVEEEEC POETRY CLUB! ALL MUST JOIN! AS WELL AS LATIN! "...I want you, you had your fun, you don't get well no more, I want you, your fingernails go dragging down the wall, be careful darlin, you might fall, I want you, I woke up and one of us was crying, I want you, you said young man I do believe you're dying, I want you, if you need a second opinion, as you seem to do these days, I want you, you can look in my eyes, and you can count the ways, I want you, did you mean to tell me, but seem to forget, I want you, since when were you so generous and inarticulate, I want you, its the stupid details, that my heart is breaking for, its the way your shoulders shake, and what they're shaking for, I want you, its knowing that he knows you now, after only guessing, its the thought of him undressing you, or you, undressing, I want you, you toss some tatty compliment, you're away, I want you, and you were fool enough, to love it, when he said, I want you, I want you, the truth can't hurt you, its just like the dark, it scares you with it, but in time you'll see things, clear and stark, I want you, go on and hurt me, then we'll let it drop, I want you, I'm afraid I won't know, where to stop, I want you, I'm not ashamed to say, I cried for you, I want you, I want to know, the things you did, that we do too, I want you, I want to hear he pleases you, more then I do, I want you, I might as well be useless, for all it means to you, I want you, did you call his name out, as he held you down, I want you, oh no my darling, not with that clown, I want you, I want you, you've had your fun you don't get well no more, I want you, o one who wants you, could want you more, I want you, I want you,I want you, every night when I go off to bed, and when I wake up, I want you, I'm going to say it, once again, till I instill it, I'm going, going, to feel this way, until you, kill it, I want you, I, want you, I, want you." Current Mood: hrmmm Current Music: " I Want You." - Elvis Costello (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 6th, 2004
2:02 pm	Memories... ::tear:: ( That Rebecca ) Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: " Don't Dream It."- RHPS (8 Comments |Comment on this)
2:01 am	CAITLIN AND JESSICA! YOU ARE TOTALLY THE COOLEST! I totally already knew that. i told you once fatty, you can either hold it or PEE in that wetsuit!!! you mean theres a, white stormy? she is a feirce and fickle mistress. sniff you jerks later! if you want something yummy, put a happy cake in your tummy! i have to lay down back because our concussion have me sleepy y dont u call bruce springsteen and tell him to get another nickname, cuz ur already the boss! wats that ben? you laid your brood of eggs in my naval? thats great! we're going to be mommies! oops. dart in your neck! "eat some more pills pillhead" " mardok, you totally rule" "i totally already knew that!" its like theres a knife in my eye, and ur twisting it! you have 5 seconds to be on ur mark and in wardrobe or i wil personally climb inside ur abdominal cavity and make a little house in there for my dogs to play in! " mother i come bearing a gift! I'll give you a hint, its in my diaper and its not a toaster." i want food do you have Jessica: try it again Caitlin: I'll try your mom again!!! Jessica: *shaking kinky fist of fury* not till im finished fuck the shut up...that officially your new name my name? no....the little man in my head oh i thought that was micheal jackson, boy was i wrong..... you'll be red, and you'll like it! but i want to be pink! red...like a hot...sexy tomali fuck the shut up you dirty cacti humping ho bag bipolarclowns: u can bite caitlin!! HeaterBeMyLover: what? bipolarclowns: you heard me! HeaterBeMyLover: what're you talking about? bipolarclowns: oh! i think u know! HeaterBeMyLover: I'm so confused? bipolarclowns: lies HeaterBeMyLover: what? bipolarclowns: u a ho HeaterBeMyLover: Jessica, I have no idea what you're talking about and if you don't either leave me alone or tell me I'll block you bipolarclowns: caitlin is here and you said ew to the away messege so i, caitlin said you can bite me but then i didnt want you to know i was here so i said 'you can bite caitlin' hence jessica saying 'you can bite caitlin' so....this was all just a big misunder----APLLE SAUCE!! HeaterBeMyLover: what? bipolarclowns: ok look, take a deeeeeep breath, sit down, have a cup of coffeee and tell me when you're ready HeaterBeMyLover: ready bipolarclowns: ok bipolarclowns: i am here bipolarclowns: this is caitlin bipolarclowns: are you with me so far? HeaterBeMyLover: yes bipolarclowns: ok well i put up that away messege and you said eww right? HeaterBeMyLover: right bipolarclowns: ok bipolarclowns: so in response to you saying eww i was going to say bite me HeaterBeMyLover: oh bipolarclowns: but then didnt want you to know i was here so i said 'you can bite caitlin' bipolarclowns: got it?? HeaterBeMyLover: yeah bipolarclowns: ok, so we're all on the same page? HeaterBeMyLover: yeah bipolarclowns: ok, good bipolarclowns: so how are you funny man? HeaterBeMyLover: is this caitlain? bipolarclowns: YES!! bipolarclowns: lol HeaterBeMyLover: oh HeaterBeMyLover: now I get it bipolarclowns: but you spelled my name wrong HeaterBeMyLover: oh well bipolarclowns: now...?? what!?!? bipolarclowns: jessica does not say lol dammit! HeaterBeMyLover: yeeeeeeeah HeaterBeMyLover: Okkkaaaaaaaay bipolarclowns: yes so anyway HeaterBeMyLover: Whhhhhhhat bipolarclowns: what?!?1 HeaterBeMyLover: lil' john ho bipolarclowns: umm yeah... bipolarclowns: wait...who told you?!?! bipolarclowns: who sowed you that video tape?!!? HeaterBeMyLover: told me? bipolarclowns: da,mnit! HeaterBeMyLover: videotape? bipolarclowns: lol HeaterBeMyLover: doubleyouteeef are you talking about? HeaterBeMyLover: What're feces? HeaterBeMyLover: Baby mice HeaterBeMyLover: AWWWWWWWW\ bipolarclowns: shiut my friend bipolarclowns: awww?? bipolarclowns: dont you 'awww' me HeaterBeMyLover: it's from donnie darko hoface HeaterBeMyLover: Ruler sex cookies! bipolarclowns: kinky sex in which you beat eachother with rulars and force them to eat cookies... bipolarclowns: not that i've ever done anything of the sort... bipolarclowns: *shifty eyes* HeaterBeMyLover: with trevor mayhaps? bipolarclowns: *puts ruer back into my pants and runs away* bipolarclowns: what?!!? bipolarclowns: ....that'd be nice... bipolarclowns: lol, hes got quite an ass... HeaterBeMyLover: ewwww bipolarclowns: mmm.....treeevor *drools* bipolarclowns: well then dont bring it up ! HeaterBeMyLover: well, you have a thing for trevor and I just figured you know... bipolarclowns: HAD, not have HeaterBeMyLover: have bipolarclowns: had HeaterBeMyLover: why not have? bipolarclowns: cause..he goes out with natelie and i dont/ever did have a chance with him...?? HeaterBeMyLover: he goes out with natalie? bipolarclowns: yeah, where the hell have you been? HeaterBeMyLover: she has hot hair bipolarclowns: lol indeed she does bipolarclowns: and i dont...and thats hwy he doesnt like me HeaterBeMyLover: well I don't hang out with anyof your people bipolarclowns: oh HeaterBeMyLover: that's where the hell I've been bipolarclowns: ah well then, i see yuo are far too cool for all of those...people that i would hang out with if i were in school HeaterBeMyLover: ...ho bipolarclowns: i know:-(:-( HeaterBeMyLover: No, I'm lame I hang out with freshman and jessica bipolarclowns: whats wrong with jessica? (she really did leave this time0 HeaterBeMyLover: wait, she wasn't gone???????????? bipolarclowns: haha im kidding HeaterBeMyLover: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ HeaterBeMyLover: emo bipolarclowns: ?!? bipolarclowns: who? HeaterBeMyLover: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ <----This is emo bipolarclowns: how is that emo bipolarclowns: ?? bipolarclowns: wait...lets back up... HeaterBeMyLover: if you were emo/had emo friends you'd know bipolarclowns: oh well pardon bipolarclowns: now lets take that trip through time shall me? bipolarclowns: *we bipolarclowns: mmm this chaor is comfyu bipolarclowns: god damnit bipolarclowns: im going to kill someone now HeaterBeMyLover: what bipolarclowns: lol bipolarclowns: this chaor is comfy bipolarclowns: see!! bipolarclowns: for fucks sake HeaterBeMyLover: chaor? bipolarclowns: exactly bipolarclowns: if you were...none emo/could read my thoughts you would know bipolarclowns: *not bipolarclowns: fucking fucker... HeaterBeMyLover: I'm not emo, I'm Indie bipolarclowns: i cant type!! bipolarclowns: ok HeaterBeMyLover: I wear tight pants and blazers and thriftstore shirts bipolarclowns: ....ok bipolarclowns: so what am i? HeaterBeMyLover: pop shit bipolarclowns: cause like...everyone is something i am not you crazy motherfucker! bipolarclowns: you lose! bipolarclowns: i hate you now! HeaterBeMyLover: I (heart) catlain bipolarclowns: no! HeaterBeMyLover: :-* bipolarclowns: cause you cant even spell my name:-(:-( HeaterBeMyLover: :-* bipolarclowns: how dare you call me pop shit?? im sad now bipolarclowns: yeah those happy faces wont get you anywhere! bipolarclowns: especially not my pants! HeaterBeMyLover: grow some balls bipolarclowns: you first bipolarclowns: im sad now HeaterBeMyLover: I'd probably wear your pants first bipolarclowns: wait...you'd wear my pants before growing balls? bipolarclowns: well that isnt saying much is it? HeaterBeMyLover: yes, yes I wauld bipolarclowns: i rest my case, i suppose HeaterBeMyLover: no I'd wear your pants before getting in them bipolarclowns: oooooh haha only because i wouldnt let you in my pants HeaterBeMyLover: but I'd have to be in your pants to be wearing them bipolarclowns: .....ok now you're just being stupid1 HeaterBeMyLover: or maybe I'm smart bipolarclowns: or maybe you should ---fuck the shut up! HeaterBeMyLover: yes I SHOULD bipolarclowns: im glad we agree!!! bipolarclowns: now please lie stil wilst i shove this peanut butter up your ass! HeaterBeMyLover: I think you should gimmie your pants HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: yeAH bipolarclowns: IM PREGNANT! HeaterBeMyLover: and? bipolarclowns: SUPRISE! HeaterBeMyLover: who the baby daddy be? bipolarclowns: that is none of your damn buissnessssss HeaterBeMyLover: then why tell me? bipolarclowns: because, bipolarclowns: SUPRISE! HeaterBeMyLover: ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><< bipolarclowns: i knew you would say that bipolarclowns: damn hippy bipolarclowns: you were never there for me HeaterBeMyLover: what? HeaterBeMyLover: fs HeaterBeMyLover: f HeaterBeMyLover: fv HeaterBeMyLover: fv HeaterBeMyLover: r HeaterBeMyLover: f HeaterBeMyLover: g HeaterBeMyLover: fd HeaterBeMyLover: ds bipolarclowns: see! bipolarclowns: why do you always do this!! bipolarclowns: im not mentally stable enough tp put up with this abuse! bipolarclowns: im leaving! HeaterBeMyLover: JESSICA bipolarclowns: ITS NOT JESSICA!! bipolarclowns: THIS IS THE LITTLE VOICE IN CAITLINS HEAD, DAMNIT! HeaterBeMyLover: you sound like her bipolarclowns: WHY DONT YOU PEOPLE EVER LISTEN TO ME bipolarclowns: NO!! SHE USES COMMAS ALL THE DAMN TIME LIKE ,,,, WOAH!! bipolarclowns: shes being bitter now HeaterBeMyLover: tuff ghost, tuff crowd, tuff love sit down sit down sit down bipolarclowns: ?!? bipolarclowns: look, we all need a little love from time to time, but i think you're taking it a little too far HeaterBeMyLover: hahahahahaha bipolarclowns: and just so you know, i will continue standing bipolarclowns: see you people ALWAYS laugh at me bipolarclowns: you NEVER take me seriously! bipolarclowns: one of these days im gonna be like 'hey guess what guy?!? im going to kill myself! bipolarclowns: and you'll all laugh!! HeaterBeMyLover: probably bipolarclowns: ....... bipolarclowns: ya know im starting to agree with jessica here..you are kinda mean...whens the last time you got laid? bipolarclowns: cause you know...that does it sometimes bipolarclowns: i bet if bush got a little bush we wouldnt be ay war bipolarclowns: *at war HeaterBeMyLover: hahhahahahhashdsbkjsjkxbhkahhahahaha bipolarclowns: but i would fuck his wife either *shudders bipolarclowns: hahahaha bipolarclowns: jessica did it!! bipolarclowns: ahahaa!! bipolarclowns: wat??? bipolarclowns: burn inhell! bipolarclowns: you first ho bag! bipolarclowns: its a date then! hooray! bipolarclowns: yeah havent had one of those in a while ey?!?! bipolarclowns: HEY! bipolarclowns: no... bipolarclowns: :-[h hah bipolarclowns: ah ha!! bipolarclowns: i mean...cause you know..i go out all the time... HeaterBeMyLover: I need a bong hit bipolarclowns: yay! bipolarclowns: us tooooooooooooooooooooooo---pay bipolarclowns: ALASTAIR! IM NOT ANNOYING! THATS BULLSHE_AT! bipolarclowns: sit down and shut up jessica1 bipolarclowns: and put that butter where it belongs bipolarclowns: maybe i will caitlin! maybe i will... HeaterBeMyLover: what? bipolarclowns: i told you to call me master damnit!!1 bipolarclowns: cancel print!! bipolarclowns: cancel!! bipolarclowns: danger will robenson!! bipolarclowns: dont judge me! HeaterBeMyLover: u, bipolarclowns: its my hot body! HeaterBeMyLover: ummm bipolarclowns: oh so hot... bipolarclowns: like FIYAH bipolarclowns: whos hot? bipolarclowns: ok, now im talking to you not the crazy bitch behind me bipolarclowns: HEY! ITS MY LIFE! ILL MAKE MOnEY HOWEVER I NEED TO! bipolarclowns: get back in the cage bitch HeaterBeMyLover: I was thinking maybe you two need to be alone bipolarclowns: no bipolarclowns: its better with three;-) bipolarclowns: now, who do you think is hot? HeaterBeMyLover: um HeaterBeMyLover: at graady HeaterBeMyLover: ? bipolarclowns: sure HeaterBeMyLover: natalie's hair is pretty awesome bipolarclowns: indeed bipolarclowns: that doesnt really count though bipolarclowns: i said hot not 'who has hot things growing out of thier head' bipolarclowns: damnit! HeaterBeMyLover: read my profile bipolarclowns: you ponder that conundrum (dont give a fuck how you spell it) wilst i go get food out her fridge...yo HeaterBeMyLover: brng me food HeaterBeMyLover: Thi is hot Auto response from bipolarclowns: i want food do you have bipolarclowns: that slutty chick? HeaterBeMyLover: THI IS NOT SLUTTY bipolarclowns: umm.....are we talking about the same girl? HeaterBeMyLover: the vietnamese senior? bipolarclowns: yeah, ok i guess she isnt slutty cause i mean if i looked like her i would make sure everyone knew too HeaterBeMyLover: no, she does look kinda slutty, but she's not bipolarclowns: mhm, ok wel she is a total bitch i know that much HeaterBeMyLover: she is not bipolarclowns: yeah huh HeaterBeMyLover: not if you get to know her bipolarclowns: after speanding as many hours with her on debate trips, i've come to the conclusion that she is a bitch...and thats all that matters HeaterBeMyLover: she is not a bitch HeaterBeMyLover: she's really nice HeaterBeMyLover: maybe she doesn't like you bipolarclowns: have you ever speant an enitre weekend with her? bipolarclowns: well good for her, she can join the fucking club HeaterBeMyLover: because you do tend to rub people the wrong way bipolarclowns: how? HeaterBeMyLover: I don't know, not me, just people bipolarclowns: ok well then 'people' can go fuck themselves with a cactus bipolarclowns: hahaha, that made me laugh bipolarclowns: but i love u caitlin, even though i knoc stuff over... :-[ HeaterBeMyLover: what? bipolarclowns: pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain bipolarclowns: but back to me rubbing people HeaterBeMyLover: hahahahhahahhahahahahazhahahahsadghaghaSHAsgdsahgsayhaGSSXJHY bipolarclowns: yes, so how and who do i rub...the wrong way that is...because i think i would know if i rubbed someone the right way bipolarclowns: who does jessica need to beat with the baseball bat of justice ho! HeaterBeMyLover: chole maybe// Current Mood: 3inthemizzorningandimhyper Current Music: sealab themesong, MAKE IT END!!!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 29th, 2004
9:21 pm	BOOBIES AGAINST BUSH Oh! Those little five points hippy folkseseses... I love them, Matt (the weirdass hatted but cool one) burned me an awesome cdizzle for my birthday, possibly second only to the poem alastair wrote me, HAHAHA! God, funny as hell..... Oh, i wuzezezez you Alastair! TODAY! I completed two of my longstanding goals, and, my overall day was just cool. You just watch me go through with this lesbian thing! Oh! It'll work! You just wait! Maybe! Not... I saw alix, and we got coffee and sexay stuff like thatbecause everything we do together is obviously sexay, then I found myself stranded, by myself, in this caribou coffeee in some part of midtwn I wasn't so familiar with, but Kati came and saved me from angry coffee people. WOO! YAY KATI! We went to centennial and had all kinds of fun in the fountains and with the grass rolling and absolutelyperfectgorgousrain, and, of course, crazy LESBIAN SEX! ( since, thats all I do, oh, except for cry I guess LEAH!) Well, I went to Caitlin's thing which was, okay, but but, Kyle was all sick and didn't come, and and, iono, I wanted to see Kyzile! but, I saw ramika and matt and such, and caitlin one more time before she leaves for ECUADOR! That was good. But, my favorite part was probably me and Kati finally finding all those missionary baptist churches we'd been searching for..... (in other words, getting crazy lost in some not so nice part of atlanta), haha, my favorite conversation piece: Kati: I love freedom parkway! Jessica: Well why don't you go marry it then! huh?!? huh !?!? Kati: You can't make me!!!! loves times a million! So, pretty good birthdizzle, ROCKY HORROR THIS NEXT FRIDAY! I hope... - I may be emo, but I'm the most asskicken emo beayatch you ever saw (hehe, "beayatch" that spelling makes me laugh) Current Mood: prettaaaaygoodyo Current Music: matts cdizzle (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 28th, 2004
8:29 pm	" Love." By: Beau Sia I think love is the most beautiful thing in the world and I don't give a fuck, because I have no original ideas. I'm a pathetic man whose goal is to read poetry to get women to fall in love with him, and you'd think I was reprimanding myself and revealing my horrible dark side by saying that, but I was really saying, "women who hear this, fall in love with me, or else." because that's what it comes down to- an ultimatum, life or death, and sure, maybe I'm being extreme, but you tell me that things aren't extreme. jesus, I've seen a man jack-off to a gap window display, so don't tell me that love isn't important. and maybe you don't get me yet, that's okay, you don't have to understand all of it, just listen to the crucial 12 percent of my words, like, "fuck," and "ass," and "ride my dongstick you naughty schoolgirl!" because in a poem about love we all need to know the relevant things, because we are all looking for the complete definition of love, if only we could open up our encyclopedia brittanicas and know, but love isn't that easy. they say cupid loved freaks and geeks, and when the show was cancelled cupid cried and cried and cried and decided that he was gonna fuck up all of humanity, and this is why china has trouble with its birthrate, and arkansas ryhmes with date rape, and the fat lypo-sucked out of california could be its own island, but this isn't a poem about geography. this is a poem about love, the bane of my existence, the reason why I hate valentine's day and halloween, which is about ghosts, and I think you know where I'm going here. I'm going to the land of girlfriends of halloween's pasts, and maybe I've only got three girls in this land, but that doesn't mean they don't bring their friends, who are the ghosts of girls who have rejected me, because girls rarely travel alone in this land, lydia is from this land. I used to kiss her while listening to the cure's "just like heaven." now I don't see her anymore, so that song makes me sad. why must we associate music with our love lives? I'm not trying to be profound here, I'm just saying that music takes me back, way back, and I can't explain the memory process involved in that, because I wasn't a psychology major, and maybe my problem with picking up women has to do with me always asking them, "yo, shorty! what's your major?" but that only makes me as cheesy as 90 percent of guys looking for women and 72 percent of them have women, so what's the deal here? Maybe I shouldn't think of women in terms of picking them up, and maybe I should open up my sensitive side. but really, the sensitive side sucks! I've been there! you can only imagine the kinds of sweaters they make you wear! it's not fair. love is not fair, and war is not fair, and I don't care what you say about any of that, I feel unloved. I'm sorry I need people to tell me I'm cool. I'm just that way. aren't you? am I the only one? I know that I can't be that misunderstood, but you don't want to understand me. you just want to hear the part about my small dick again, because the asian man will always be plagued by this rumor, until he is brave enough to whip it out on stage and say, "ha! we are gigantic!" honestly, this is not the direction I wanted to take this poem. I just want to be in the arms of my true love, in a house, in a room, in a wonderful, perfect world, with our two children, a boy and a girl, helga and lamar. but maybe I shouldn't have said this. woody allen taught as that marriage is the death trap. I'm almost as old as his girlfriend. she could be the long lost sister I've been looking for. maybe my mother gave her away when we lived in china- wait! I never lived in china. I've begun lying in this poem, when all I wanted to do was talk about love for 3.2 minutes and then come to a conclusion defining love within this poem, but I don't have any answers, and I'm looking for help from anyone, because love has got me fucked up and dying, because I feel retardo without anyone to hold me, and maybe that's sentimental, but what's wrong with sentimental? all I'm saying is "someone. love me." So, today was good fun with leah, tomorrow should be good fun with the getting passed around yo, haha, I love kati, she randomly followed me home yesterday, which was too cool! IIIII LOOOOOVVVVEEEEE YYYYOOOUUUUU KAAAATTTTIIIII!!!! everyone go to caitlin's thing! or else!!!!!!!!! - the now declared emo by leah jessica :'( Current Mood: AHHH! EMO!!!! Current Music: "just"- Radiohead (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
8:30 pm	"... and super heroes come to feast, upon the flesh not yet decceased.." For alastair, he wanted me to apparently, HeaterBeMyLover: yes HeaterBeMyLover: because I (heart) you bipolarclowns: :-D HeaterBeMyLover: and because you're doing newspaper next year surrrrrrre I am...... Well, I'll think about it... I'm sort of pissed, well, at Chris, because, a lot of things, specifically, that I'm not and was not, ever assertive enough to confront him about his bullshit, because, grr. since my plan is to cut him off completely and just try to get past it all and pretend it didn't happen, I guess it's too late now. Yeah, when will I learn, guys who repeatedly declare themselves nonassholes, tend to be ones... "... but when worlds colide, I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills..." BUT! I don't think my birthday is going to suck. I'm going to go see Alix that morning, go rolling in the grass with kati that afternoon,, bother roman later on that afternoon, and then go to caitlin's thing! WOO! AND! EVERYONE COME TO ROCKY HORROR THE FRIDAY AFTER THIS NEXT ONE! AND I GETSA SEE LEAH! CUZ! IM HER FUCKMUFFIN! TIMES! A BAZILLION! justgray608: nothin pumpkin bipolarclowns: pumpkin??? ahhahaha justgray608: oh you know you like my mad rymin skills YES! Only cameron would call me pumpkin, thats great! awesome. ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU wow, those words have come to mean nothing to me. REBECCA! You're still coming right??? "... you're spaced out on sensation..." :: time warps:: : because I'm the kind of person who'd just time warp like that:: :: deal with it!!:: ::or!!! don't i guess!!!!:: "... so you can't see me, no, not at all..." <3 for kyzile! Because, I have nothing else really to say.. WOO! AGAIN! OH! AND FOR JESSICA! ( the other :) YES JIMMY FALLON!!! OH GOD YES!!! "... I know what you want, and I know what you need, but I'm gonna screw it up, cuz I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend.." ha, it's true. Except me! I'm a perfect boyfriend! :: shifts eyes:: "... and NOTHING CAN EVER be the same..." - PUMPKIN! :) ".. I'm just a sweet transvestite.." HAPPPEEEEEE ALASTAIR!!!!!!! ??????? !!!!!!! Current Mood: ".. bleeding..." Current Music: " Super Heroes."- RHPS (27 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
7:55 pm	" When I was young, Younger then before, I never see saw the truth, Hanging from the door, And now I'm older See it face to face And now i'm older, Gotta get up, Clean the place, And I was green, Greener then the hills, Where flowers grow, And sun shines still, Now I'm darker, Then the deepest sea, Just hand me down, Give me a place to be, And I was strong, Strong inside, Thought I'd see, When they was done, Now I'm weaker, Then the the palest blue, Oh so weak, in this need for you." :: is out of love, or... trying to be...:: Current Mood: tryingstilltrying... Current Music: " Place To Be."- Nick Drake (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 23rd, 2004
9:03 pm	ESTABO SERVIDO! Yes I did... yes I did.. and it hurt like a mother. Sohpie! Now we can both go listen to Nick Drake and be angsty relationshipless people, except, that things probably going to work with Joe because you're super cool, so I'll just go into my corner and be angstyrelationshpless... I shouldv'e stuck with asexual, I'm not fit for human contact... : ( - "... and crawling on the planet's face. some insect called the human race, lost in time and lost in space, and meaning..." Current Mood: notverygoodatall Current Music: none (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
11:39 am	"... it came from, outer space, and this is how the message ran: SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE DR X WILL BUILD A CREATURE ANDROIDS FIGHTING (and fucking, and sucking on...) BRAD AND JANET..." If you can't tell I'm going into serious Rocky Horror withdrawel. "... WOO! Here it comes again..." Can't... " and to think just last week she was plain old ( betty the ho!)..." Stop... "... I really love the, skillful way, you beat the other wives, (with whips and chains), to the brides bouquet..." Qouting... "... I want, if I may, to take you, ( take me! take me!) on a strange journey..." Whatever happened to our Grady cast? we can so find enough people I promise, "...in the velvet darkness, of the blackest night, burning bright, theres a guiding star, no matter, who, or what you are..." "... THERES A LI-E-I-E-I-E-I-E-I-E-IGHT...." "... the darkness must go, down the river, of nights dreaming, through morpheus, slow, let the sun, and light come streaming, into my life, into my life..." I blame chloe! Because I CAN! EEE! NEED ROCKY HORROR! "... its astounding, time is fleeting, madness, takes its toll, now listen closely, not for very much longer, I've got to, keep control..." I'll so be whoever, male/female other " Oh fantasy free me!" " Hey! Any of you guys know how to madison?" We should go the friday after next, because I need to take Rebecca and I think thats when shes coming yes? Also, since its the first friday after my bday, we could pretend that going then has something to do with that, " They may do some more... folk dancing...." I have so much homework I should be doing right now... "... I'm not much of a man by the light of day, ( we can see that), but by night I'm one hell of a lover!..." "... Give yourself over to, absolute, pleasure..." - "... I don't like men with too many muscles, ( just one big one!)..." Current Mood: antica- pation. Current Music: " Time Warp."- RHPS (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
9:56 pm	I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVEEEE REBECCA She made my icon, which is so cool, and the fact she remembered my hatred of the letter "w" makes it that much sweeter. Hm, I'm trying to go to Rocky Horror but I'm worried if I go tomorrow night my parents won't let me go when you come down my wonderful Rebecca in two weeks. Plus, I don't think Leah or such can do any stuff, even Rocky Horror tomorrow night. Hmmmmmmmmm. I guess I'll see what happens, I'm seriously thinking of stealing your letter thing Nyssa, except, I'm seriously not going to give mine to chris, especially since I've already sent him some... AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I really needed to get that one out... Brandon, if you actually even read these anymore, we are GOING TO PHILIDELPHIA! Because we never got to hang with theo outside of the camp thing, and I'm sure hes Jessica/Brandon deprived. Plus I need to visit Christa! YEE CHRISTA! - "... I believe, in Mr. Grieves..." Current Mood: wellthen Current Music: " Mr. Grieves"- The Pixies (3 Comments |Comment on this)
6:16 pm	It was cruel, the way she teased me... mmmm Johnny Depp: not sure im going to blondie bipolarclowns: ???????? bipolarclowns: :: heart is broken:: mmmm Johnny Depp: ::passes the super glue:: bipolarclowns: :: sheds single film noir tear:: mmmm Johnny Depp: lol bipolarclowns: :: starts to narrate self:: bipolarclowns: chloe laughed at my tears, now, but one day, she would regret it mmmm Johnny Depp: would i jessica? would i really?? bipolarclowns: she questioned me, then i went off to have random passionate frenchindiemoviesex, and it was good, then i came back, i was still heartbroken at her rejection, i felt cold inside, cold like, snow, really... cold snow... mmmm Johnny Depp: oh jesus jessica. that was beautiful. bipolarclowns: i knew it was, bvut id never tell her, tell her the truth bipolarclowns: wat were we talking about? mmmm Johnny Depp: i probly wont be at blondie bipolarclowns: ibshrugged it off in  a casual manner, she craftly circled around the subject of why she couldn't go, was it, rejection! was there, someone else? i tried to think of something intelligent to quickly respond with bipolarclowns: UR FACE! mmmm Johnny Depp: oh. jessica. don't be this way. we've been thru too much. it cant just be over. bipolarclowns: i was safe, shed never know the paranoia, the anxiety i was feeling, but, there were still so many questions, like, why? how could she? i wated to confront her bipolarclowns: thats too bad u cant go mmmm Johnny Depp: lol mmmm Johnny Depp: yeah mmmm Johnny Depp: wondering where j would go next, chloe bounced her knee nervously. she didn't want a confrontation, though she longed for the honest trust jessica and chloe once had. bipolarclowns: she laughed it off causually, it was cruel, the was she teased me bipolarclowns: i could tell she was nervous mmmm Johnny Depp: she didnt know how nervous i was bipolarclowns: i could taste it, in the air, with my... magical air tasting abilities... bipolarclowns: which do exist goddamn you mmmm Johnny Depp: like hell they do, hobag. mmmm Johnny Depp: i mean. i knew what j was thinking--that she could taste the air, because she's schizo. but i knew better. bipolarclowns: haha.. oh! oh! ur mom! goes to college! in her vagina! using the wittyness i had one her over with i combined two insults, into one, super insult, faster, stronger, more powerful then any insult ever before mmmm Johnny Depp: you mean, wittiness,not wittyness, and one, not won bipolarclowns: and by one i meant to type won bipolarclowns: and i liked ys better mmmm Johnny Depp: your y's can suck it mmmm Johnny Depp: like ur mom, last night, at college. mmmm Johnny Depp: what then? bipolarclowns: she hit me, and she hit me hard, damn hard, i never saw it coming, it hurt inside, but, how i was able to hear her narration to know she had said those things, well, i guess we'll never know bipolarclowns: and then jesus came bipolarclowns: and we had a techno party mmmm Johnny Depp: and said "let there be lips", and there were lips, and they were red bipolarclowns: YES! bipolarclowns: ROCKY HORROR! bipolarclowns: one day, im so soending with commentary during my normal conversaions bipolarclowns: yes, it wil be super pathetic mmmm Johnny Depp: indeed, i thought to myself, overly confident that jessica had no idea what i was saying. mmmm Johnny Depp: i'll do it with her, i thought to myself. and by do it with her i mean the commentary thing, not have hot lesbian sex. bipolarclowns: unfortuneatly for myself and chloe we were both literate and able to read wat we were typing, damn i thought, i guess ill just have to fine someone else for hot lesbian sex, someone like! actually i have no idea who to go have hot lesbian sex with... but that was okay... it wasnt of course becayuse noone would probably ever have sex with me and id probably die a lonley virgin with many cats, actually, yes, yes  would mmmm Johnny Depp: the cats would devirginize you out of sheer pity, i think, before you died. ...i thought to myself bipolarclowns: or, maybe after, either way, it wasnt looking good mmmm Johnny Depp signed off at 6:01:49 PM. mmmm Johnny Depp signed on at 6:02:04 PM. bipolarclowns: she had leftme bipolarclowns: oh wait, nevermind bipolarclowns: i thought smoking a slim french cigarette except that i dont smoke bipolarclowns: cuz im not XhXcX bipolarclowns: wow, this conversation is so going in my livejournal mmmm Johnny Depp: people who smoke are stupid. im going to kill them all before they kill me. mmmm Johnny Depp: yay!!!! mmmm Johnny Depp: i thought to myself bipolarclowns: obviously chloe didnt understand the many wonders of lung cancer, like, coughing up blood, and, dying slowly bipolarclowns: actually, neither did jessica bipolarclowns: who, now apparently was speaking in third person mmmm Johnny Depp: i vaguely wondered if maybe i just didnt understand the wonders of lung cancer, like coughing up blood and dying slowyly, but dismissed the thought mmmm Johnny Depp: chloe decided she enjoyed third person pov, and switched to it as well bipolarclowns: its because ur mom was a chea braziliam prostitute i thought to myself bipolarclowns: and by chea bipolarclowns: i meanbt cheap but better mmmm Johnny Depp: she was only a cheap brazilian prostitute cuz thats the only people ur mom goes for bipolarclowns: touche i thought, touche mmmm Johnny Depp: lets go learn how to fence i thought, lets go learn how to fence... bipolarclowns: and so we did bipolarclowns: so we could be cool like roman mmmm Johnny Depp: ew roman bipolarclowns: except maybe cool wasnt the right word to describe roman mmmm Johnny Depp: he still freaks me out mmmm Johnny Depp: i thought bipolarclowns: she caught herslf quickly bipolarclowns: never letting us know deep inside how she hungered for romans angst ridden lips reciting her gitchified poetry for all eternity, bipolarclowns: jessica realized finally how horrible she was at typing, i mean wow, it was sad mmmm Johnny Depp: disgusted, chloe recalled the last statement she endured from roman, while still under his spell. chloe then gagged violently and fell to the ground, limbs spread about her. bipolarclowns: jessica at first laughed at the fact chloe appeared to be in pain, then realizing that was mean, she considered not laughing, but then continued to anyway bipolarclowns: his spell? thought jessica, more like, ur taste in guys being angsty mmmm Johnny Depp: archie wasnt angsty mmmm Johnny Depp: oh god i miss him, and i hate that i miss him bipolarclowns: oh, well, for manwhores then, HAPPY? thought jessica mmmm Johnny Depp: what about...? oh shit your right. OH SHIT YOUR RIGHT. mmmm Johnny Depp: chloe then suffered a fatal stroke bipolarclowns: heheh, strokes, ur silly! thought jessica! until chloe continued not moving bipolarclowns: considering going for help jessica realized she was hungry and went to go find fod first bipolarclowns: and yes fod is better then food   bipolarclowns: ur face SykoWaffler: ouch SykoWaffler: did u think o that by yourself SykoWaffler: or did u need Snuggle's help? bipolarclowns: maybe i did! bipolarclowns: dont bring him into it!   I love my friends, love like whoa.</P yes, I'm also bored, but huzzah for blondie tomorrow and maybe rocky hooror. Leah so needs to come : ( - the weird one oh and, HAPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BIRRRRRRRRRRTTHHHHHHHHHHHDAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY SEXAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY THEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YE! MY SEXAYASSEDYANKEEGFSLUTBITHCHWHOREPROSTITUEMOTHERFUCKERILOVEYOUYOUFILTHYSLUTBAG yes. again. Current Mood: singlefilmnoirtear Current Music: " I'm Your Problem Now" - MSI (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
7:02 pm	"... As loud, as hell, a, ringing bell..." Frank Black's voice= KINKYBONDAGE::ORGASM ORGASM ORGASM ORGASM ORGASM ORGASM ORGASM:: sex Theres this line in "No. 13 Baby" where he sings "I'm in a state" :: orgasms to death:: SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD! AUGH I LOVE THE PIXIES! Haga, since when my class are seniors all the cool people will basically be gone, me and Stone have figured out where we're going abroad to, and it made me laugh, laugh like whoa! Basicaly since almost all the cool people that'll be left are part of the awesome latin cult, we're going to Italy, nd we're going to go stay with the pope as he'll be the only one who actually speaks Latin, and then we'll make a reality tv show about it, and ghetto-fy the popes yo-as (<-- its Latin "yo") (impressive aye?) YES! HAHAHA! That Stone Um, Blondie concert, Alastair! You are so not allowed to go with Dylan! Because I said so! And you're coming with me! And So Is My GF Lee! And Kyzzile you must come! And I'm stil a bit paranoid, So, I'm going to try not to implode, but, HOORAY FOR OTHER JESSICA! Because she is super awesome cool! Thats basically it, except, I'm bored, and still angsty, which is really pathetic, :: goes off to put on eyeliner and slit wrists:: - Galatea Current Mood: damnyouteenangst Current Music: " No. 13 Baby." - The Pixies (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 14th, 2004
11:20 pm	"... You bettter runrunrun..." bipolarclowns: yeah, sex with u sux justgray608: w/e hoe bipolarclowns: im a, tool for gardening? justgray608: of coarse justgray608: that and other yard work justgray608: and perhaps my taxes justgray608: =-Oi love yew justgray608: damnit! bipolarclowns: NO YOU DONT! justgray608: :-* justgray608: im allergic to bullshit justgray608: *coughs* justgray608: thou is loved... YES! CAMERON! I LOVE THAT FLAMINGLITTLEEMOKID! injaeia: YAY! injaeia: I love you too because your head is unexploded. bipolarclowns: oh, so, its for my unexploded head huh? bipolarclowns: wopw bipolarclowns: that sounded so bad injaeia: haha injaeia: yes. I like head better before, uh, nevermind. XD HAHAHAHA! NYSSA! WOO! and, there was a great one with leah but its on hers so yea-ahs. Alastair, I think I'll be able to go to the Blondie concert with you, so, you're not allowed to be mad at me, well, actually you are, but, you shouldn't be since I'm having your babies. The Chris thing was, as awkward as I predicted, but, he still makes me happy, I don't know, his friends are all whoa, and mine are all, debate, and I'm all, debate team people are cool ( i never see my HoMeBoY brizzandon anymore :() and, other, not so socially awkward people tend to make me uncomfortable... And then my head EXPLODED! But, it was because, um, I sort of forgot to eat today, specifically because my stomach hated me, and, LEE/LEIGH IS SOOOOOOOOOO MY GF TOO NOW! YES! I WIN! NO MORE PROBATION! Hmm, I'm starting to think Alix is gonna ditch me on the whole new york times and coffee and voting, and by voting I meann sex, and by sex I mean, I BE A PIRATE! ARRRRR!!! (wow, my attention span died when my head exploded) but eh I'll go hang with someone else ho. - head of the movement to make "its quote nyssa day!" a national holiday i so mean to roman, i tried to see how many times i could get him to say "yes" and then bothered him about it, bipolarclowns: anyway xnewxbloodx: yes? bipolarclowns: YOU SAUID IT! xnewxbloodx: said what? bipolarclowns: AHHH! bipolarclowns: ahhh! xnewxbloodx: yes? bipolarclowns: THERE IT WAS AGAIN! xnewxbloodx: i don't follow bipolarclowns: AHHAHAHAHAHA! bipolarclowns: hey roman xnewxbloodx: yes? bipolarclowns: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH bipolarclowns: OHH! bipolarclowns: ahhahahahahahga, i love u roman xnewxbloodx: what? bipolarclowns: we should hang out soon xnewxbloodx: we should bipolarclowns: dammit xnewxbloodx: yes? bipolarclowns: :-D YEEEE!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!! AGAIN! bipolarclowns: <3 good times... Current Mood: UR FACE! Current Music: the pain in my head (12 Comments |Comment on this)
9:02 am	Shipgillao...... -TUH! Wow, I feel really horrible about yesterday, Alastair I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for not showing up. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 I love you Alastair!!!! I didn't get to go to rocky horror either, my parents decided I needed to babysit, I didn't get home till four, but I fell asleep on her couch 11ish, and when I got home 4ish I was completely awake and couldn't fall back asleep, so now I'm like passout at any moment mode, and my stomach is hating me for not getting much or welltimed sleep, I'm sorry. Chris got back last night and I'm supposed to hang out with him and two of his random female friends today, but, thats going to be really really awkward because I'm still sort of awkward around him, and with two people I don't know, and considering last time I saw him I was a good bit awkward despite Leah being there, who I actually do know, It just sounds like bad stuff, Maybe after bailing out on so many people yesterday I might as well fall off the face of the earth completely I have no idea what to do, thats what I get for jumping into a relationship with someone I barely know, I guess I'll suck it up and be uncomfortable, if it even works out today... Yes, the sleep/stomach stuff is making me more stressed out and paranoid then usual... So now I'm just sort of "AUGH EVERYONE HATES ME! ANGST SUICIDE! THE GOVERNMENTS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!!" BUT BUT! Caitlin was there yesterday at school, and, she gave me a bracelet to remind me of all the hippy babies we're goping to make when she gets back from Ecuador, I'm going to try and go calm down, yes, I shall go molest, er, speak with the oh so wonderful soapy sophie sophAY ahhahahahaha! you're horrible, but it makes me love you more! <3 - I'm sure Stone's given me some weird nicname in the past few days, but, I'm not so capable of thought at this moment so, SHIPGILLAO.... -T! again Current Mood: notsogreat Current Music: " Pink Moon."- Nick Drake (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 12th, 2004
9:24 pm	"...PIGMAN..." Eric Estrada or however you spell his name is definantly my hero, um, IM GOING TO SEE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE WITH ALASTAIR TOMORROW! WOO! I miss chris : ( I spent like all of today just posting poetry on deviantart so if u want to lagh at some of my pathetic poetry http://yossarion.deviantart.com/ ho! Which reminds me, it really makes me laugh how al these other people were leaving theo thee gushy "IMISSYOU!!!" notes when all I left him was "HO!" I'm so awesome, and by awesome I mean, not so much so... My life is boring, Kati's last entry seemed really depressed, I <3 you Kati! You=cool don't be sad! I'm here for you! Times a MILLION! - the "hooker, WITH CLASS!" " I've got needs!" ( hahaha, yes, hooray for Stone) Current Mood: Erik Estrada Current Music: " Pigs." - Pink Floyd (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
9:50 pm	" The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction the weight, the weight we carry is love. Who can deny? In dreams it touches the body, in thought constructs a miracle, in imagination anguishes till born in human-- looks out of the heart burning with purity-- for the burden of life is love, but we carry the weight wearily, and so must rest in the arms of love at last, must rest in the arms of love. No rest without love, no sleep without dreams of love-- be mad or chill obsessed with angels or machines, the final wish is love --cannot be bitter, cannot deny, cannot withhold if denied: the weight is too heavy --must give for no return as thought is given in solitude in all the excellence of its excess. The warm bodies shine together in the darkness, the hand moves to the center of the flesh, the skin trembles in happiness and the soul comes joyful to the eye-- yes, yes, that's what I wanted, I always wanted, I always wanted, to return to the body where I was born." How could you not love Allen Ginsburg... Man, when did I become so fucking angsty again??? I have no reason to be so bleh, and antipeople, but, I don't know. On Rocky Horror, everyone come this friday, EVEREEEEEEEEE-ONEEEEEEEE!!! We could go aroundb my birthday, but, I hate birthday stuff to be honest, and, its in the general area of it this weeekend, so we should all go then. I think it may be a result of some conversation I had a while ago, the subject of my best friend was brought up and I realized to my dismay I have not had one in over a year now, not since Emma left... And, I have, a good deal of friends, but, I don't know, theres a certain level of closeness I want to someone but I can't seem to find it, possibly because I still feel quite connected to Emma even without her here. Okay, yeah, it doesn't matter, I'll stop my rambling/ranting yes, the cave im going to go live in, its now officialy a XhXcX XCAVEX SQUARED!!!!! - " farmer broen" AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! I love u kyle! : P Current Mood: technofied carmen Current Music: ehhhhhhhhh (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 9th, 2004
9:50 pm	LOVE LYRICS FOR KATI! :: runs to kati through feild, only mentally and without the field or actual running or anything:: Yeah, we're so cool. For my awesome Kati chicka: "... I'll be your mirror Rflect what you are, If you don't know I'll, be the wind, The rain and the sunset, The light on your door, To show that you're home, When you think that night has seen your mind, That inside you're twisted and unkind, Let me stand to show that you are blind, Please put down your hands, cuz i see you..." "... Forever may I love you and forever may you, dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeaaaaammmm..." "... I first met you down on lover's lane, the birds were insane, flapping all about, softly you would sing, swinging on your swing, it wasn't night it wasn't day, you're just the girl of my dreams..." "... thought of you as my mountain top, thought of you as my peak..." "... I called your name from a distance, I knew you were the one..." And of course, the oh so classic: "If not for you, Babe I couldn't find the door, Couldn't even see the floor, I'd be sad and blue, If not for you, If not for you, Babe I'd lay awake all night, Wait for the morning light, To shine in through, But it would not be new, If not for you, If not for you, My sky would fall, Rain would gather too, Without your love I'd be nowhere at all, I'd be lost if not for you, And you know it's true, If not for you, My sky would fall, Rain would gather too, Without your love I'd be nowhere at all, Oh, What would I do, If not for you, If not for you, Winter would have no spring, Couldn't hear the robin sing, I just wouldn't have a clue, Anyway it wouldn't ring true, If not for you." I am such a dork, oh yes, I am master of all that is lameness, but it amused me, and I do love that Kati. mmm mmm. :) - "... despite all the amputations you know you could still go out and dance to the rock and roll station..." AHHAHAHAHAHA! BEST LYRICS EVER! yay, now that gloomy sense of dread isn't hanging over me quite as much I just wish I knew what it was, I'm so messed up :: goes off to live in a cave:: ".. cuz its all in her mind..." Current Mood: love for KATI! Current Music: " I'll Be Your Mirror." - Velvet Underground (6 Comments |Comment on this)
6:34 pm	"... Pink moon gonna get you..." So, on the last couple days, (yeah, I'll try to summarize...) Paly went well both nights, Second night Caitlin and Alix and KATI(<3)! showed up, Caitlin and Alix invited us to hang with them but then they sort of ditched us, which is okay because it was better being alone with Kati. She IS the coolest person ever. ever. I gave her my rose. :) And then, We wandered up and down little five points that night just talking. I always have these perfect moments with Kati, that night it was when we were lying on the grass in front of some house type things, just talking, it was perfect. Absolutely gorgeousperfectlybrilliantgoodfun. Oh, I love that kati, Imma marry her! WOO!!!!!! (<-- is a sad dork, but a sad dork who loves you Kati!!!! <3<3<3<3 haha, yeah, I have some problems....) My classes are okay, lunch was cool but if I get the schedule change I need I'll be in a different one, and I change next semester no matter what because of my class then. I met a cool random girl, saw Tye, Sophie, and Brandon. :) And saw all my non youth creates but still awesome friends, Missed my bus that afternoon but Roman let me go home with him and we had this really interesting debate on monogamy at his house. Pretty good overall I suppose, though I miss old rusty nasty yellow Grady.. :( Don't know what else to say except that despite the overwhelmingly large amount of good happy things in my life, theres this weird sense of dread hanging over me, It's basically like, I feel like something bad is about to go down, or is going down, or, maybe, theres just, something/someone/orsuch missing.... hmm, who knows. Ha, probably all this Nick Drake I've been listening to. I hope it is at least. I love you all you crazy Grady people! <3 :P :) - :: goes off to listen to more of Alex's super cool clasical techno:: Current Mood: PONIES! Current Music: " Parasite."- Nick Drake (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
5:55 pm	"... In my life the furniture eats me..." William Carlos Williams is too awesome. They gave us headsets in rehearsal, yeah, we've had some good fun on those. Rep-ra-zentin' da red plant bitches!!! Southeast side ho! Sophie made me meet some of her crazy rising freshman friends and now I'm even more disillusioned, apparently almost (notice the "amost") all the incoming freshmeee-en are: stupid, conceited, bitchy, and, worst of all, TALLER THEN ME!!! WHAT IS THAT!?! Wow, i really hope we at least weren't quite that bad... I stole-duh-did this from Chloe Thirteen things you like: 1) Chris 2) Tabloids 3) The people who read tabloids and believe them 4) Rain 5) Cuddling (cue “awwwws”) 6) Writing my oh so awesome poetry 7) Poetry in general 8) The book Catch-22 9) People who don’t like Shakespeare 10) Reading 11) Socially Awkward Dorks!!!! (they make me feel not so alone) 12) GARTH! EXXXXXXCELENT! ::does “foxy lady” dance:: 13) XhXcX CHERRAYS!!!! Twelve AWESOME movies: 1) Jump Tomorrow 2) Love Liza 3) Hedwig and the Angry Inch 4) The Rocky Horror Picture Show!!!!! 5) Fight Club 6) American History X 7) Anything else with Edward Norton’s sexay self in it 8) Kill Bill 9) Requiem for a Dream 10) Donnie Darko 11) iono And the sad dorky not “ I’m a XhXcX teenager who lists all the crazeeee cult indie films” one: 12) Gone With the Wind (YAY DWEEBAY HOPELESS ROMANTICS!!!) Eleven good bands/artists: 1) The Pixies 2) Bob Dylan 3) Ween 4) The Velvet Underground 5) Radiohead 6) Pink Floyd 7) Primus 8) Led Zeppelin 9) Beck 10) Morrissey 11) David Bowie Ten things about you ... physically: 1) Secksy (except, minus the secsky…) 2) 5 foot 9ish? 3) dark brown hair with highlights 4) (this is sort of physical?) Freakishly high seven year old, “Sweet Valley High” (as Chloe put it) voice 5) Really large (size 11) feet 6) tiny lips 7) freckles!!! Wooo! 8) giant radioactive tumor on my neck 9) KOOLAID! 10) KOOLAID AGAIN! Nine good friends: 1) anyone 2) who 3) enjoys 4) being 5) around 6) the 7) oh so 8) wiggalicious 9) Jessica ( I love EV-ER-EEE-ONE!!!! ::is a filthy hippy::) Eight favorite foods/drinks: 1) tiramisu 2) vanilla coke 3) milky way bars 4) sex 5) notebooks 6) live mice 7) roadkill 8) incest Seven things you wear daily: 1) jeans 2) the jelly bracelets chris gave me : ) 3) other clothing items 4) my… skin… I guess… 5) 42 6) 8 7) 13 Six things that annoy you: 1) “lol” 2) “lol” 3) “lol” 4) people who are too fucking lazy to pronounce my whole name and call me “Jess” or “Jessie” 5) Clichés 6) “open-minded” people who are so judgmental of close-minded people that they become the close-minded people Five things you touch everyday: 1) myself, (I couldn’t resist:) 2) Some sort of writing u-ten-sil 3) pApEr 4) my cd player 5) mieieieiei cddddddddddddssssssss Four shows you watch: 1) Sealab 2021 2) ATHF 3) Home Movies 4) Family Guy Three people you have a crush on: 1) Celene Dion (oh, those canadadians…) 2) Fabio 3) Michael Jackson Two things that you hate: 1) phones 2) specifically cell phones One thing you love: 1) CHRIS! And, THE PIXIES! - Indizzle Current Mood: disillusioned squared Current Music: " River Euphrates."- The Pixies (6 Comments |Comment on this)